The Slippery Slope

Why and how I am incapable of LOVE, I do not know. Perhaps the reason be fear...and lack of faith in my own.


Long have I waited for LOVE to come and in vain I have waited. Or perhaps in blindness, I have fallen. Numerous have I pretended to LOVE and nothing have I acquired. Only traumas and misgivings to my being.


Now, I fear those supposedly not to be fear ed of.


I fear attention.

I fear being liked.

I fear of liking.

I fear being more than liked.

And I fear not liking more.

I fear companionship for I fear attachment.

I fear comforting touches.

I fear being spoken to with words of endearment.

I fear being cared for.

I fear being LOVEd.

And I fear of being expected to LOVE in return.

I fear of saying that I cannot.

But I fear being left behind and not given a chance to try to LOVE.

I fear of failing the trial.

And I fear to admit it.

Because, again, I fear of being left behind for doing so. And I fear of not being given more chances to try harder.

So I try anyway.

I fear of finally giving up.

And I fear of letting go of the failure because I fear of admitting to myself that I cannot triumph over it.

But I eventually do.

I fear of not being let go because of one's LOVE for me. . .that, again, I fear.

I fear of hurting one LOVING me.

And I fear of one begging me to not leave one.

But everything eventually leads to separation and falling apart.

And I fear being lonely once again.



This chain of my notion ends to a conclusion:

"catching one's attention will eventually bring forth loneliness.”

-a notion like a metal cuff, binding my feet, restraining me from movement, nullifying my life, preventing me from living.

“The Slippery Slope is a fallacy in which a person asserts that some event must inevitably follow from another without any argument for the inevitably of the event in question. Event X has occurred (or will or might occur). Therefore event Y will inevitably happen.”